], [Cut to a side view of the right-hand side of the cab. The Soldier stops and examines his new bucket next to a sign pointing to the "LAB". It also holds a bucket of drumsticks, red roses, a vase, and a box of RED chocolates. . Scout turns back to Miss Pauling.]. ], [Cut to a side shot of the mercenaries at the poker table. Y'all ought to take a look at this. Expiration Date - YouTube ], [The camera cuts to a rear shot of the van pulling into a dirt road flanked by rocky cliffs and several Sentries and a RED-owned building in the distance. Spy: Say that [pushes microphone towards Scout] again. Hey that's, that's funny. During the dancing scene, a recorder is visible that looks like the Red-Tape Recorder. Listen now We've been running some experiments on the Teleporter. In recent news, the video-game company Valve is in hot water. Expiration Date - Official TF2 Wiki | Official Team Fortress Wiki Miss Pauling: [Her expression darkens] Scout, I'm here right now. A body bag and shovel can be seen strapped to the back of it. [He drops his demeanor and looks dejected. 'v' Soldier: [Leaning backwards] I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days. The Engineer smacks his Sentry Gun with his wrench, upgrading it to Level 2, and he motions for Demoman to join the battle as well.] Soldier: [brightly] Hello, Miss Pauling! It recoils in pain, letting out a loud roar. Engineer: [Laughing] So, we're fine. I failed, did I? They both glare at him, ignoring the keys which clatter to the floor. The camera angle is also slightly higher up than in the final video. He blows into it, causing feedback which reverberates throughout the building. Suddenly, a Red Bread truck screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and . [he places his hand on the Soldier's back and smiles] You teleport as much bread as you like. He twirls her back onto her feet and the two start running.] You're a failure. Suddenly the Engineer bursts in through the door behind them.]. [she grabs a Fire Axe and brings her face closer to the camera] So you don't go to jail. Medic: [cheerily, gesturing slightly with a half of the throbbing loaf] Tumors! Scout: Yeah, sure! On June 18th, Redditor ThamosII posted an SFM image of Soldier teleporting bread which received over 1,600 upvotes in /r/tf2[4] in six months (shown below, right). The Engineer turns. ], [Cut to the Scout back at the banquet table, and he extends his pinkie out as he holds the chicken. He looks down, then chuckles sadly to himself. ], [He flips a page and frowns. [RED BASE: 70 HOURS TIL DEATH Cut to the RED BREAD building. Heavy grabs one of the detached tentacles and heaves it off to one side, then walks over to the Demoman, who is carrying a case of beer under his arm. The two run for the exit as the bread monster lunges after them, crashing through a wall. The Medic continues to scream as he grabs onto the bread creature and attempts to pry it off. The camera zooms in on the top of the bomb where the words DANGER: BOMB are spray-painted onto it. Scout: so that brings me to the point of this story, which is I like you, and you should probably be sitting for this Miss Pauling: GUYS! [he snaps the case shut] [The camera switches to the mercenaries walking down a hallway. The wooden platform they're standing on creaks from the weight of the monster. Scout: [choked and strained] Not my fault..! We're not dying! Spy: [Annoyed] Scout, where is this going? One of Medic's doves can be seen sitting in a birdcage hanging from the ceiling.]. [Disgusted, the Spy slides the bucket over as the rest of the mercenaries get up to leave. The fork flies out of his hand and lands on the Demoman's eyepatch, whose other eye immediately widens. Yeah-ah. The display beeps as the various mercenaries set their watches. Well the Yeah, the thing is [Cut to a shot of Soldier, Spy, and Demo watching the monitors. They're usually pretty accurate in my experience, at least for more distinct fonts. Wait! Ow. Another jump cut, and the pile of books has been turned into a makeshift throne, which the Scout, who has the Bonk Boy on, reclines in it, a more confident expression on his face. He sniffs it briefly, then recoils backwards, making a noise of disgust. He points both his fingers at Spy, who merely shakes his head with disgust. Wait! The Scout opens the door and peeks in.]. Soldier: [brightly] Hello, Miss Pauling! Before you go. [he looks around at their faces] What? The post received over 36,000 likes and reblogs in seven years (shown below, left). Later, Medic and Engineer discover that Soldier has been teleporting bread for three days. For example, on June 17th, Tumblr[3] user holtarna replied "I have done nothing but reblog bread for the past three days" in response to a reblogged image of a loaf. [Medic looks at the Heavy, then flips the handle of his Medi Gun. You left seven witnesses, guys. Scout: [sitting up and angrily gesturing] Go to hell, Spy. Ve all use the teleporter, let's say six times a day [Cut to the rest of the team, Scout is still rubbing his sore neck, the Soldier stands stoically, the Heavy still leans on the fridge door, Sandvich now half-eaten, and the Engineer replaces his helmet, backwards as usual. The post gained over 130 smiles in eight months and was widely circulated online. You have a dinner date for seven what time do you arrive? The Engineer picks up his PDA and activates the Teleporter; it starts whirring into action. tf2 copypasta - Copypasta ], [Miss Pauling looks Scout in the eyes, grabs a hold of his arm, and gives him a nod of approval. The bar has several bottles of RED wine, glasses, and a console. [Side shot of the van rolling down a ramp and pulling into a garage. The Engineer intervenes raising his hands. Easy Ways to Read Expiration Dates: 8 Steps (with Pictures) - WikiHow A medium tempo jazz instrumental starts with flute, piano, and drums. Engineer: [Threateningly] How much? The Soldier stands with his arms akimbo. ], Spy: I think it's going pretty well [He gives the Scout a pat on the back as a cloud of dust rolls over them.] I got a bucket of chicken Spy: [He slaps the chicken out of Scout's hands.] Miss Pauling briefly turns towards the scooter, as if to set it back upright, but instead continues on towards the door. Press The tumors are now plainly visible on the outside. Scout tells her about the death prognosis just as the two are helped out of the remains of the gigantic Bread Monster by the rest of the team. [The Soldier suddenly grabs the Scout by the neck and slams him onto the table, because he is a furry.]. The healing beam latches onto the Heavy, and the Medi Gun crackles with energy as the berCharge is deployed. A march-like drum beat plays], [Cut to a close-up of a poker table. [He turns abruptly. The Sniper arrives at the battle, and after a brief moment of aiming, shoots the tentacle holding Scout, freeing him from its grasp. She does, however, offer to have Scout to come along at work, though he declines each task Pauling lists until she comes to the task of killing the one who pulled the briefcase alarm, which she says that Scout will already be at. Fuzzy dice adorn the rear view mirror. Now would be agood time. Spy: [turns] You? Exactly! Miss Pauling: [finished with dragging body, she stands up and wipes the dirt from her hands] Funny you should mention that. Scout: [taken aback] Right! You're terrible with girls. The Heavy looks harassed and brings the vehicle to a stop. Scout backs up as one of the tentacles swipes at him. The rear bumper falls off. [Cut to a close-up of the watch. The Heavy continues to drive the van on the right side of the road when the dashboard monitor begins to softly beep. [She holds her hand out expectantly], Scout: Yeah. [Spy stops pouring, looks up, and turns towards Scout. This never leaves this room [sigh]. The Spy draws a note card from the bucket.]. He hits Scout in the muzzle with the pointer, who reels back in pain. After a brief delay, he raises his hand in front of him to shield his eyes from the bright lights. to view a random entry. The kind that smell good, and can read. You can help me yank the molars out of a box full of heads. What have you two eggy-heads been workin' on? I Have Done Nothing But Teleport Bread for Three Days He returns his eyes to the road. to view the video gallery, or Miss Pauling: Actually this is my only day off this year. It is now night and a lone Level 1 Sentry guards the entrance. Go [bleep] yourself. ], Spy: Final Question [Cut to a shot of Spy, who is silhouetted against the floodlights.] Spy: [somewhat bemused] sexual congress with a dragon. [sigh] Okay. ", The location of the RED Base is in an edited version of the map. She lets out a yelp as one of the bread monster's tentacles slams into the ground. Cut to the Spy, languidly brandishing a cigarette from its case]. A large fire has broken out behind it. 1 . Red embossing tape declares it a "DEATH CLOCK". He looks down, then chuckles sadly to himself. honey ad script copypasta The Spy calmly places a wine bottle on a cart and inspects two wine glasses. - I teleported bread. We can't. Copy and paste your choice of scripts, featuring the "Meet the Team" videos by Valve. He blows into it, causing feedback which reverberates throughout the building. [Medic looks at the Heavy, then flips the handle of his Medi Gun. ], [The Spy shakes his head, lowers his eyes, and brings his fingers to his temple in annoyance. Another ring comes with the appearance of the text "www.teamfortress.com". If not, I gotta kill him. At 1:21, when Miss Pauling goes off camera, the firing sound of the Revolver can be heard. Scout grabs a hold of her and, making use of the dance moves he learned from Spy, keeps her safe from harm. how long does an embezzlement investigation last. The dove from earlier flies at the monster and is promptly eaten by it. CLOSE THE BLAST DOORS! Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Is the Demo back with the beer yet? honey ad script copypasta Scout: [disinterestedly while the background drum beats a steady tattoo] Wow. Scout: That's right, fancy pants, myself! A scene not present in the final video has Miss Pauling be seated at a candle-lit dinner table by the Heavy, who also takes off her helmet. Hmm. ], Medic: [Turning to the Engineer] Ready! ], Engineer: Whoa! Copypastas are text memes! ], [The camera cuts to a rear shot of the van pulling into a dirt road flanked by rocky cliffs and several Sentries and a RED-owned building in the distance. [1] Check the bottom of the product, the sides of the container, the lid, and the necks of bottles. [The screen then cuts to a text with the Team Fortress 2: Free to Play logo with the sharp tolling of a bell. The bell rings a third time and the screen blacks out again], The TF2: Expiration Date but Scout is a furry. The bell rings a third time and the screen blacks out again]. The Spy steps from the front of the table and walks from right to left, lit cigarette in his right hand, and the left firmly clasped behind his back.]. I'm leaving the van now. Say something. Is the Demo back with the beer yet? A dead BLU soldier can be seen draped on the roof of the van. ], Miss Pauling: [Briefly glancing over at Scout] Uh-huh. He leans on it trying to force Scout out.]. Now go! He tosses the keys in the air and deftly catches them. [The Spy raises his knife, threateningly]. The severed hand of what is presumably the BLU Heavy falls out of one of the bags. ], [Miss Pauling has now removed the panel off of the detonation mechanism of the bomb, and can be seen frantically messing with the wires. Miss Pauling: [distracted] Scout? [Reverse shot with the bucket in the foreground. Spy, look at this. Spy remarks that his time has been wasted, and angrily bids the team farewell, after giving the Soldier the bucket. [turns] Scout. You can teleweport bread. Scout: Oh [He stands up, bringing the desk with him. [Soldier is grabbed by a tentacle, dragged over towards the monster, and then thrown into a pile of broken lumber. I'm great with girls. The bread grows teeth and roars at the Medic, who lets out a scream of fear as the bread creature leaps at his throat and latches onto it. can be seen littered around the room, and he is now reading a book titled Dating Nice Girls. Scout: That's right, fancy pants, myself! can is punctured by a brass flourish. Miss Pauling: Oh! Scout: Oh [He stands up, bringing the desk with him. Why don't we discuss it over dinner? ], [The Spy now walks behind the table. You did collect everyone's dying wish? The screen cuts to black. They stop as he holds her up and looks at her. Spy: [Annoyed] Scout, where is this going? To make these hours count! Miss Pauling: That was so much FUN! The camera continues panning and steadies at the van's open air cab, revealing a sleeping Scout and the Heavy hunched over at the wheel. Hey that's, that's funny. Side view of cab with the Scout leaning back resignedly. [The bread creature attempts to bite the Medic again as the Soldier leans in for a closer look. Okay [He walks up to the Spy.] Yes. Ominous bass strings play. At 6:08 when Spy is pouring a drink, the liquid flowing out of the bottle is black but becomes a translucent amber color as it fills the glass. ], Scout: Lot of people busy with busywess. A.M. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Scout: Hey, Miss Pauling. Now weakened, the wooden platform collapses, sending the trio plummeting to the dirt below. Look for a date accompanied with "use by," "sell by," or "best by.". Expiration Date: Directed by John Cook, Robin Walker. [A match is lit, revealing Scout and Miss Pauling pressed up against each other in a dark enclosed space.]. Earn it! Um. The furry, however, is unimpressed.]. Demoman: Woo. The camera spotlights the loaf with ominous bass piano notes. TF2 Nom nom nom. She lets out a yelp as one of the bread monster's tentacles slams into the ground. We have the resources. [A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. Spy: [smugly] Asking out that dial tone again, I see. Jul 22, 2021 at 08:33PM EDT Scout, meanwhile, runs up to the side of the bread monster and slams his club into it. TF2 announcer- Victory! We'll get it back, and the Administrator never has to know. Fine. Wait! by Give me your watch! Scout admits to Spy that while he himself is good with girls (a scene with the Tramp Girl appears), he is vastly outclassed by Spy when it comes to ladies. The Medic continues to scream as he grabs onto the bread creature and attempts to pry it off. It was a gloomy day. [A smile forms on her face]. I Have Done Nothing But Teleport Bread for Three Days, This Is Where I Watched My Parents Die, Raphael. Miss Pauling: You're already going to be at that one. ], Spy: We are mercenaries. [he gestures emphatically with his lit cigarette while the trumpets and drum beats swell]. Um. Heavy and Medic pause and look at the bread monster with fear in their eyes. Spy: [chucking softly] No. [He drops his demeanor and looks dejected. Stand back son. The healing beam latches onto the Heavy, and the Medi Gun crackles with energy as the berCharge is deployed. ], [The camera cuts to a shot of Spy and Scout in a classroom setting. ], [Cut to a shot of Miss Pauling watching the battle. A look of determination can be seen on her face. We've been told Expiration Date was hilarious and it definitely didn't disappoi. and our An upbeat, funky jazz track starts playing. They both glare at him, ignoring the keys which clatter to the floor. The background music stops], (Editors note: I did not edit that last paragraph other than hands to paws. Later, he can be seen gently kissing the hand of the dummy as the Spy watches. Miss Pauling: Oh, but you can ride along with me on some jobs. The line gained popularity as a catchphrase, phrasal template and a subject of references in Team Fortress community, gaining wider recognition online in the late 2010s. ], [The Scout looks back, confused, and turns forward, arms akimbo.]. He adjusts his hat and headset with both paws. A bright flash of light can be seen engulfing the monster, then the screen cuts to black. Spy: [smugly] Asking out that dial tone again, I see. TF2 Scout Metal Bat. ], Soldier: [his hand still covering the Scout's face] Goodbye, Miss Pauling! Scout: [frantic yet hushed strings play] But you, Spy. The Engineer walks up to Soldier and Medic and places his arms around their shoulders.]. Jun 18, 2014 at 06:07PM EDT The Heavy momentarily looks guilty. Spy: SEDUCE ME!. The Spy swirls his cut crystal glass and takes a drink whilst reading "Dapper Cadavar Monthly" magazine, as the track of the same name plays in the background. She looks at him quizzically in silence. His brow wrinkles], Spy: drawn a picture of me getting vored by a Sergal. The Engineer intervenes raising his hands.]. He immediately picks up the bucket of fried chicken and lets out a quick sigh.] ], [Interior shot of the cab. [He turns to the rest of the mercenaries in a mock whisper. He stammers and scratches his face.]. What an unexpected surprise. Cut to black. This is a reference to ". ], [The Engineer walks off-camera as energetic drums start to play in the background. [He makes a gun formation with his right hand. Soldier has a grin on his face, Demo looks concerned, and Spy looks very worried. I guess it's a date. Miss Pauling turns and shoots him with a silenced pistol. Some copypastas? :: Team Fortress 2 General Discussions - Steam Community I guess it's a date. ], [The blackboard has the results of previous teleporter experiments written on it. Miss Pauling tumbles unceremoniously to the ground, helmet falling off of her head. At 11:31, Scout's right arm clips through Soldier's torso. 70 hours left to live and counting. No. Spy: [sudden close-up while the background music cuts off] The clock is ticking, gentlemen. Wait! Scout: [unconvincingly] Miss Pauling. Online. In the background, the Heavy and Medic pushes forward while the Engineer and Demoman stay behind to build up a sentry and lob grenades at the bread monster, respectively. They stop as he holds her up and looks at her. The room is dimly lit with moonlight and the warm glow of the fireplace. Scout and Miss Pauling run at the bread monster as she lets out a yelp. ], Spy: See you all in hell. U R DED! Members. (Note: captions read "Mrs. Pauling"), [The Soldier disappears into the rear of the van and the door slides closed behind him. [Side shot of the van rolling down a ramp and pulling into a garage. expiration date tf2 copypasta ], Heavy: [Struggling to keep the blast doors open] COME ON! This is first hinted at in the, When the Soldier tells the Engineer he has a question, he does not actually ask a. Ow. The logo is pock-marked with bullet holes and the white paint has been scraped off the sides. Reading "Open Date" Codes. Ow. The two notice that the dove that the Bread Monster ate is flying harmlessly out of the mouth of the monster. 1. [Reverse shot with the bucket in the foreground. On one condition. You know? Transcript [A lone RV is driving down a desert road.Camera cuts to the dashboard, where a bobblehead of the former Civilian sits. ], [Fade to a shot of the Medic's Laboratory. [he gestures emphatically with his lit cigarette while the trumpets and drum beats swell]. Let's begin. Oh my God, you set off the briefcase alarm and you were having a prom for some reason. No. [He removes the watch from his arm and gives it to Miss Pauling] See, that is where this all starts! [Cut to the Heavy. - Question? At 8:17, the Spy produces a beverage from behind his back in his left hand, even though his left hand can be seen holding nothing behind his back at 8:06. Anyway I-, [The Spy suddenly lunges towards the door, slamming it shut on Scout's body. Ominous sounding strings start up. The Scout then can be seen dancing around the room with the dummy. Spy, look at all of this. What have you two eggheads been workin' on? ], [The Spy now walks behind the table. Minusve're not bread. Miss Pauling: Oh! Scout: Yeah, sure! At 11:59, the Sniper Rifle uses the same firing sound as the, At 12:03-12:37, the Heavy's default Minigun firing sound changes to the. Researcher & Scrapbooker & Commentator, Database Moderator & Historical Meme Historian & Stand User, Digital Archaeologist & Treasurer & Media Maid. He selects a rocks glass to pour a hard liquor.]. The windshield has bullet holes on the left and is completely knocked out on the right. She looks at him quizzically in silence. After arriving back at the base, Scout tries to ask her out, but he is unable to think of anything to say to her. Yeah-ah. We are going to live forever! No. [He smiles, then it quickly turns into a frown] Wait, nah. What an unexpected surprise. In this first Episode the Medic and Engineer did Experiment's on the teleporter and discovered Russian Bread that they call "E girl" Bread. A subreddit for all your TF2 copypasta needs. [RED BASE: 70 HOURS TIL DEATH Cut to the RED BREAD building. Scout then admits Spy is better than him, and Spy demands that broadcast around the base as payment for his services. Ominous sounding strings start up. Cut back to Scout and Miss Pauling.]. MeeM - TF2. [The Medic shakes up the jar he's carrying, which contains the bread creature from earlier. The Scout tosses the keys. The Heavy looks disapprovingly at the sleeping Scout. ], [The camera pans slowly with the Scout walking left to right from the van to the table. Another jump cut, and the pile of books has been turned into a makeshift throne, which the Scout, who has the Bonk Boy on, reclines in it, a more confident expression on his face. Yet in the next shot at 11:17, the left side of her glasses is slanted. I'd like to go on a datewith Miss Pauling. No, actually, wait [The Scout is interrupted by a scream, and the Soldier flies into the hangar and lands on the ground.]. before the Engineer interrupts them. Suddenly the Engineer bursts in through the door behind them.]. Fine. Legal Information: Know Your Meme is a trademark of Literally Media Ltd. By using this site, you are agreeing by the site's terms of use and privacy policy and DMCA policy. Please. He sits back down and slides out of his chair. Miss Pauling tumbles unceremoniously to the ground, helmet falling off of her head. Screw you, though [He walks by an alarm that's labeled In Case of Briefcase theft, push button. [His smile fades and he removes his helmet. [Q]When does the event of "Expiration Date" happen? : r/tf2 - Reddit [The Medic and the Engineer are discussing something, but turn to Scout when he addresses them. Suddenly, a Red Bread truck screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and . [He nearly chokes the Scout and raises a hand as if to punch his face. A fight breaks out, with the other mercenaries rushing to their aid. The Payload cart subsequently blows up, killing the Bread Monster. Why don't we discuss it over dinner. A can of BONK! The Sniper attempts to take another shot at the monster but instead is lifted into the air by a tentacle that has grabbed a hold of the barrel of the rifle. He twirls her back onto her feet and the two start running. A grin appears on his face as he stares at the fallen loaf. Back in the previous room, Scout can be seen awkwardly dancing energetically. Expiration Date Sequel Script (LEAKED) spoiler nsfw. And this here. Matthew Russell, a former animator at Valve, released an animation demo reel that features scenes from. It spins around in the jar and comes to a stop.] He returns the glance awkwardly. He selects a rocks glass to pour a hard liquor.]. Gentlemen, synchronize your death watches. The Scout throws up his paws, the Heavy is startled and momentarily loses control of the van, and the Soldier takes over the monitor.]. The Spy proceeds to show Scout the proper way to dance, while Scout looks on in confusion.
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